I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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