i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
