i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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