is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
