Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
