She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
