She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize