My room smells like vodka and shame
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
