Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
