Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize