i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
