i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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