I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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