Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
