So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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