Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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