party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm always down for nudity.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
