i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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