also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
