You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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