Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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