seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
