we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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