so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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