I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
