Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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