my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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