And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
