lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
