eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
