I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
