I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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