Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
