i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
