i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
