It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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