See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
