I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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