do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
