i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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