whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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