i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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