i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
