Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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