dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
