so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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