you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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