Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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