NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
