We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
