ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
