I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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