Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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