Capitaan dildo arrescate!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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