For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
